Standing In Line...Again.

So, I was standing in line today in the gas station waiting, somewhat patiently, to pay for the fuel in my car. The line was impressive. (Especially when you consider the price of gas.) It stretched down two isles and across the front of the store where there was, sadly, only one open register. I didn't notice that a merge sign had been erected anywhere, and yet we were all shuffling slowly forward, merging ourselves into one line without argument. Sipping slushy drinks in silence and awaiting our turn at the counter. No one made mention of the fact, though I am sure everyone must have noticed, that there were two other registers at the counter and a number of employees wandering the isles and trying their best to look busy and important and way too otherwise occupied to do anything of actual worth.

This is not an unusual phenomena. I cannot even count for you the number of times I have stood at the back of the line in the grocery store. Way back in line, where the register is a faint blur and the cool air coming off the dairy case at the back of the store is keeping you cool. The store is full of bustling employees and yet there are three of twelve registers open. What is the deal here? I often wonder to myself if the store owner might not have saved a bundle in construction costs by requesting that the contractor only build the three check-stands he actually planned to use. Maybe it is common, when building a grocery store and making your business plans, to develop a few delusions of grandeur and have frequent, vivid daydreams wherein the entire town has flocked to your grocery store in search of the weekly special and all fifteen lines are backed up to the coolers. I can see how, in the throws of such fantastic... well, fantasies the contractor would be hard pressed to convince you that three or four registers would more than suffice. "No!", you would shout, "I need more registers. Lots more. Infinite registers!" It sad that in the end all these registers do is provide variety to the four cashiers that actually work at your grocery store. That and irritate the paying customers. You know, the ones who have been standing in line for the last half hour.

Maybe it is the contractors who are to blame. If you figure parts and labor for twenty registers, verses four, you have to admit one bill looks way better for business than the other. And what contractor could resist adding a few extras here and there? Talking the owner into it should be a piece of cake. Look at him. Standing there, with dollar signs shining in his somewhat glazed over eyes and a vague smile on his face. You have to suspect he would let you build an endless number of check-stands. I have even contemplated that perhaps there is an unwritten rule among contractors that you must insist on building no fewer than ten registers - ever. That way, all the contractors benefit. Maybe it is a stipulation in the franchise contracts, placed there to appease the CEOs, who also spend a great deal of time daydreaming of riches. (They spend the rest of their time spending their riches, by the way.)

I don't know who is ultimately responsible, but I think that maybe next time I am standing in the back of the grocery store, watching my ice cream melt in the cart, I will form a protest. I can see it now. Men and women and children alike, raising our voices to chant "Open all the registers! Open all the registers!" I can see the managers calling both the available and seemingly busy checkers to the front of the store. I can see every light at the head of a register coming on as the lines shift and we move forward ,smiling, into the short, short lines.

Now who is suffering delusions of grandeur?